Jealousy, Control & Fear are Denials of Who You TRULY Are

"Hi Hemal, I was wondering what your thoughts were on jealousy?

I have been hurt so badly in the past by someone and struggle to move on from that.

I stayed alone for sometime and thought I had dealt with it - via reiki and positive thoughts and law of attraction etc - now I am with my new man I on occasion feel it in my stomach and find it hard to keep under control.Dont get me wrong its not a possessive thing, just the odd occasion where I feel sick to the stomach. I know deep down its my own mind and self esteem and I work with this daily but wondered what your view on it was or any advice from your way....thanks for your time to read ..have a great day

Em x"

When we are going into a relationship, we are feeling wonderful things and the beautiful emotions build and build - an example of Law of Attraction!  And then what happens is we may experience fears and insecurities and other things may come up.  It may be that we are fearful of losing what we have, or that we have a bit of moment to reflect and absorb what has been happening and start to 'think' (and the fears and 'patterning' come up) rather than continue 'being' in that wonderful feel-good place.

"After people attract something (such as a relationship), they can sometimes get busy trying not to lose it, which is a very different vibration to what attracted it to them in the first place..."

Jealousy is a response to thinking that something is yours when in fact, like everything else in the Universe, it isn't, and you are no ones either.  Other than the fact that you are two souls meeting along your journey. 

The discomfort that exists is because you are thinking thoughts that are taking you out of your flow and from what you want.  And what you want isn't just this physical being in your life, but the essences of what you are experiencing.  Whilst your physical body and mind experiences this person, your soul and essences are experiencing so much more and that is what led to the physical meeting.

You can't be jealous if you are on your path and know that you will be ok. You cannot base your own wellbeing on another's presence and feelings for you, but on your own connection to wellbeing and flow (which in itself is attractive for others to be around you).

You love them and adore them because, as a free being, you are chosing to be with them, and vice versa. There is no attachment or holding, especially emotionally. Allow them to be free, they will appreciate and love you even more for it.  Otherwise, energetically, they will feel constricted too.  And when someone feels constriction or pressure, little things can start to come in (such as disagreements, arguments etc) which can build.  It is far better to have the space within ourselves and allow the other, and ourselves, to be who we are.  To be fearless in all eventualities and being at peace with them, so we can enjoy our now.

"Anytime we build a strong momentum about something, and we experience strong emotions or fears to the contrary, it can get pretty uncomfortable."

You cannot carve out and separate a bit of the Universe (such as a person) and hold it in statis forever and say it is yours.  Everything is interconnected and interrelated, as are you. You wouldn't want it any other way.  You wouldn't want to be disconnected from your flow. It is more important to you than this relationship or anything else, because it is to do with your relationship with who YOU are as the spiritual being that is living this physical life.

We fear losing what we have but remember we cannot 'hold' or 'force' something.  What we can do is deal with the fears about it.  What would happen if this person left?  Be at peace with that.  Have it so that does not scare you and you can focus your emotional energy on appreciating what you two have together.

Anytime a limiting thought comes up, identify the underlying what fear behind it, and let it go.  All fears are limited perspectives of the Universe.  They imply that you will not be ok as a result of something happening or not happening.  When in fact the Universe is wellbeing and does not place conditions on it, only you do.

"You came together to love and adore each other, not to be scared of what the future may hold."

Any jealousy or element of control is about one's fear or lack of security or certainty about having or keeping something that they want, or how they want it. It is an illusion because you can never truly 'have' something and keep it static forever and how you want it.  That's the illusion. And that can be scary itself the first time someone realises that.  But that's only fear, it is not reality. The reality is you have no need to be scared because you are safe.

The 'truth' is your flow and connection to all that you want, including through this person or thing that you want. Take your attention away from the noises and distractions from fear, and put them on your truth which is your ever-abundant and ever-infinite flow and adulation from the Universe.

How can you ever be without when you realise how much you mean to this Universe?  There was no coincidence in your creation, and nothing would be withheld from you.  You just needed to know how to ask for it - vibrationally.  In realising your connection, you have nothing to fear being without.  It's like having fears in looking at a blade of grass, and not seeing the whole field.

 

Comments

[Simone Segal]

GREAT IDEAS

Great ideas are put to bed

Because fears and doubts invade your heads

Time does fly, you wonder why

Those great ideas have passed you by

The greatest philosophers, they have said

We become what’s in our heads

What we think is how we act

Thoughts determine our lives exact

It’s all in you, imagination

Positive thoughts, a great sensation

Why don’t you start a brand new fashion

Live your life with belief and passion

Kick those doubts and fears away

And you will create a brighter day

For you are a shining star

Act on great thoughts and you’ll go far

When you know this, it’s plain to see

Your thoughts suppress

Or set you free!

[saima]

it0s a wonderful motivation for life

[law of attraction]

What if the world were different? What if the world were a place where everybody was happy? What if the world were a place where everything (animals and plant life included) was at peace? What if we, as humans, lived harmoniously with our surroundings?

[Alan]

An awesome article and a fantastic poem posted by 'great ideas' . Thank you both.

[Sandyseeber.wordpress.com]

Brilliant article!

But I do also understand that it might be difficult for some people to accept this concept. How can they? It is much harder to accept that we don't own anything or anybody when we are disconnected to our inner self. Once we are in love with who we truly are, we are feeling the concept of love and creation and everything without the need of owning anything or anybody.