Dealing with the End of a Marriage or Relationship (or Anything!)

When we have decided we will spend the rest of our lives with someone (or it feels that way), and it doesn't quite work out that way, we have to deal with the emotions about that, the dynamics of the relationship, as well as all the other emotions in play. It can be a time of upheaval.  Remember what it was always about: you went into a marriage/relationship for happiness, love and joy.  Let that be the light for you to head towards - these emotions, even if at the time they might appear in the distance.  Remember also that perspectives and circumstances change very quickly in your changing attention - 'things' and solutions appear where they weren't appearing previously.

The marriage or relationship was meant to be a reflection of these emotions for you, not a replacement.

Avoid getting pulled into the dramas. They take you away from your true self and your true authenticity. You went into a relationship for two wholes to create something special together. It is still about something special (it always is) - You. And despite there being another, you could only have something special together, from your own specialness individually; that has not changed anyway.

When a relationship (or anything) ends it seems like the end of something. Consider that the ending of the relationship (or anything) was actually part of the process of something new beginning.

The relationship served it's purpose and all possibilities are open to you in your now, as they always have been. They are open to you from your true self and your true authenticity.  Not from games, smoke and mirrors, and distortions.  All those things hide the real you. And if you feel the need to be scared and not yourself, what is it that you are (vibrationally) communicating to the rest of the Universe?

Realise your power is within you, not on what happens outside of you (which is a reflection), and in your now.  And despite what has happened with this other person, you are no less adored and loved. 

The Universe totally adores you unconditionally, it always has, other than the doubts and conditions you filter that love and 'energy' through. 

Remember to look for the indicators in your experience of how you are blessed and what you DO have, than what you don't.  Sometimes we can look at something that has ended or is ending and feel regret and sadness, especially if we are not wanting it to end.  It may seem like a loss of your whole world. 

Realise that this relationship was something that you made your world, it was something that you expanded to make your world, by your attention to it.  When something then turns not so pretty, it can be uncomfortable.  Withdraw your attention from it, and balance it with the rest of your world that has always existed, that you had selectively filtered out whilst you focused on the relationship.  You are just shifting your perspective from this person or situation to be in balance with everything else.  Previously, when things were good, because they were good, you chose to shift the balance and make it your predominant focus.  Now, as you move on for now, you are shifting the balance, and creating space for other things in your life.  And of course, the Universe responds in kind with new energy.

There is an abundant and infinite stream of what can come into our lives.  When we hold onto things due to our emotional attachments, we are not allowing the space and freedom and possibilities of what else may come into our lives.  We can use fear to hold onto things, or trust and faith to allow this energetic stream.  It's not really about the relationship with the other person, but the relationship with ourselves and our own divinity.

Comments

[Lisa Lomas]

I really like your articles Hemal, putting the positive thoughts into action. Relationships are a work in progress and something that can make us whole however we need to feel good. Sometimes moving on can make us feel even better and you have given those in that situation a positive to reflect on which is utterly beautiful.

[gloria]

Hope this helps. ~ Jo

[samantha jones]

just what i needed funny that just popped in my inbox at just he right time . thank you xx

[francesca]

"It's not really about the relationship with the other person, but the relationship with ourselves and our own divinity" it is so true, but too often forgotten...

[Hemal Radia]

Thank you everyone :)

[Hemal Radia]

Thank you everyone :)

[Brenda Strausz]

It always ends up being about how much we love and care for ourselves...everything works when we just practice self-love! Great articles Hemal!

[avondarcye]

So true, but difficult when your heart is broken.