MANIFESTING & LAW OF ATTRACTION

Jealousy, Control & Fear are Denials of Who You TRULY Are

"Hi Hemal, I was wondering what your thoughts were on jealousy?

I have been hurt so badly in the past by someone and struggle to move on from that.

I stayed alone for sometime and thought I had dealt with it - via reiki and positive thoughts and law of attraction etc - now I am with my new man I on occasion feel it in my stomach and find it hard to keep under control.Dont get me wrong its not a possessive thing, just the odd occasion where I feel sick to the stomach. I know deep down its my own mind and self esteem and I work with this daily but wondered what your view on it was or any advice from your way....thanks for your time to read ..have a great day

Em x"

When we are going into a relationship, we are feeling wonderful things and the beautiful emotions build and build - an example of Law of Attraction!  And then what happens is we may experience fears and insecurities and other things may come up.  It may be that we are fearful of losing what we have, or that we have a bit of moment to reflect and absorb what has been happening and start to 'think' (and the fears and 'patterning' come up) rather than continue 'being' in that wonderful feel-good place.

"After people attract something (such as a relationship), they can sometimes get busy trying not to lose it, which is a very different vibration to what attracted it to them in the first place..."

Jealousy is a response to thinking that something is yours when in fact, like everything else in the Universe, it isn't, and you are no ones either.  Other than the fact that you are two souls meeting along your journey. 

The discomfort that exists is because you are thinking thoughts that are taking you out of your flow and from what you want.  And what you want isn't just this physical being in your life, but the essences of what you are experiencing.  Whilst your physical body and mind experiences this person, your soul and essences are experiencing so much more and that is what led to the physical meeting.

You can't be jealous if you are on your path and know that you will be ok. You cannot base your own wellbeing on another's presence and feelings for you, but on your own connection to wellbeing and flow (which in itself is attractive for others to be around you).

You love them and adore them because, as a free being, you are chosing to be with them, and vice versa. There is no attachment or holding, especially emotionally. Allow them to be free, they will appreciate and love you even more for it.  Otherwise, energetically, they will feel constricted too.  And when someone feels constriction or pressure, little things can start to come in (such as disagreements, arguments etc) which can build.  It is far better to have the space within ourselves and allow the other, and ourselves, to be who we are.  To be fearless in all eventualities and being at peace with them, so we can enjoy our now.

"Anytime we build a strong momentum about something, and we experience strong emotions or fears to the contrary, it can get pretty uncomfortable."

You cannot carve out and separate a bit of the Universe (such as a person) and hold it in statis forever and say it is yours.  Everything is interconnected and interrelated, as are you. You wouldn't want it any other way.  You wouldn't want to be disconnected from your flow. It is more important to you than this relationship or anything else, because it is to do with your relationship with who YOU are as the spiritual being that is living this physical life.

We fear losing what we have but remember we cannot 'hold' or 'force' something.  What we can do is deal with the fears about it.  What would happen if this person left?  Be at peace with that.  Have it so that does not scare you and you can focus your emotional energy on appreciating what you two have together.

Anytime a limiting thought comes up, identify the underlying what fear behind it, and let it go.  All fears are limited perspectives of the Universe.  They imply that you will not be ok as a result of something happening or not happening.  When in fact the Universe is wellbeing and does not place conditions on it, only you do.

"You came together to love and adore each other, not to be scared of what the future may hold."

Any jealousy or element of control is about one's fear or lack of security or certainty about having or keeping something that they want, or how they want it. It is an illusion because you can never truly 'have' something and keep it static forever and how you want it.  That's the illusion. And that can be scary itself the first time someone realises that.  But that's only fear, it is not reality. The reality is you have no need to be scared because you are safe.

The 'truth' is your flow and connection to all that you want, including through this person or thing that you want. Take your attention away from the noises and distractions from fear, and put them on your truth which is your ever-abundant and ever-infinite flow and adulation from the Universe.

How can you ever be without when you realise how much you mean to this Universe?  There was no coincidence in your creation, and nothing would be withheld from you.  You just needed to know how to ask for it - vibrationally.  In realising your connection, you have nothing to fear being without.  It's like having fears in looking at a blade of grass, and not seeing the whole field.

 

"7 Questions (& Answers) about Self Belief"

About a week ago I was asked if I would answer some questions about self belief. I'm asked these sorts of questions often so I thought the answers might be useful to put in a post.  More information below...

Hi Hemal,
I hope you are doing great. I am reading a book on how to improve my grades in school, and I am on a part which talks about self-belief. I have an exercise to complete which is to ask a few questions to those that I admire the most. I thought that you would be the perfect person to ask. I know that you are a busy man and I won't mind if you can't take time to answer these, but I would really appreciate your response.  :)



1. What compels you to take action and begin any type of work or project?

To follow my inspiration and what feels good (or 'best' in that moment).

2. What makes you keep on taking action when you feel overwhelmed? What makes you think you can finish it and do a great job of it?

Staying in the moment as best as possible.  Having faith and 'knowing' you will, but staying in the moment and enjoying it regardless of the outcome.

3. Others have not accomplished what you have. What do you think makes you different than them?

It's not about what others do or not do.  It's about whether I want to do it and if I do then staying in the moment and doing it.

4. When you have a challenge in front of you, how do you deal with it and how do you get past it?

Don't see it as a challenge unless it inspires you positively, but focus on the outcome and how you'd like it to be and build that up.

5. What goes in your head when someone tells you that you can't achieve your goal?

It's not about what others think, it's about oneself and their flow and their feelings/beliefs

6. What if you are wrong or if you make a mistake? How do you deal with this?

There are no mistakes.  If something doesn't quite happen how you'd expect, see it as still fine as you got many other things out of it and what you needed from it you 'perfectly' got.

7. Can you provide me with any suggestions to help me develop a successful mindset?

Start with the intention and the application and continue building it.

And check out my free audios and blog!

:)

Oh my God!!  These are the best answers I could get!!! You are awesome!! :D Thank you so much!  I really really really appreciate you taking time to answer them. Have a wonderful week! :D

Anything YOU'd like to share?  Feel free to share in the comments below.

"How to Make Affirmations, Goals, Mantras, and much more, work for you"

I received a question about how to make affirmations, goals and mantras work "better", which stimulated me to write a bit on this subject.  The answer goes beyond the scope of what was asked in the question.

From my other articles or teleseminars, you'll know my emphasis of focusing on the feeling of what you are doing (and wanting); that is the indicator of your vibration about it - and being a vibrational match to what you want is how you let it into your life.  If you are not connecting with your feelings, you're not evoking your spirit, which is what we're here to do after all, aren't we? :)

What many people are not aware of when they use goals, affirmations, mantras, visualisation, or anything else, is that it is not about what you use, but it is ALWAYS about your vibration.  When you are looking to make Law of Attraction work for you, it is about you and your vibration.  What will work for you best will be that which raises your vibration the best, in that moment.  There are times you use a fork, there are times you use a spoon; similarly, you can use different techniques for different things.

"It is about the vibrational relationship between where you are and your desires.  Your emotions are the indicator of that relationship, and what you need to be doing to be closing the gap."

This is something that I tell my clients and guide them with.  When you are looking to use a technique, it is just a tool for you to work with your vibration, as is everything else - actually, as is everything else in life.  In your experiences in life, you make choices and preferences and decisions - you are always moulding and adapting your vibration in all of these instances.  There is no moment in your existence when you are not influencing your vibration (for one reason, that is what you are: a physical extension of who you are on a deeper level).  Every thought that you are thinking, even the ones not in your conscious awareness, are shaping your vibration and what is coming into your life.

There is so much I can say about techniques, and oftentimes I do, especially in the teleseminars.  On the question of goals, affirmations and mantras, here are a few quick tips about them:

1 - Does it feel good when you think about the goal etc?  If not, why do you have it as a goal?  Because others want you to have it?  Ensure it is because you feel good about it.

2 - If it feels good, how can you tweak the goal (or affirmation or mantra or whatever you are using) so that it feels better?  Can you think of something more to this goal that you can add?  Something else?  More specificity?  A different colour?  More belief in what you can have?  What ways can it feel even better?

3 - If it's an affirmation or mantra (i.e. "words"), there are certain words we have which are emotionally loaded.  How about "money", or "soulmate" or "sex" for example.  Find the words that you have that feel the best for you, relative to what you are wanting, and put them in your affirmation or mantra.  Use modifiers to make it feel even better - words that make it feel even better, eg "my palatial mansion", "my beautiful car", "the woman/man of my dreams", "deep peace" etc.

4 - Mantras can be different things to different people.  For some, they may be something they repeat to "get" something (such as a goal).  For others, they may use mantras to create a peaceful mind and be in the moment - it is more 'state' oriented than 'goal' oriented.  For example, they may repeat something whilst doing breathing exercises to orient themselves in their now.  If this is the case, then be aware of this and choose the words that best orient you in your now and your attention in the direction that you would like to be going.

5 - The goal which you visualise or affirm is relative to where you are at, vibrationally.  As you grow vibrationally and get closer to it, it can mean and feel differently.  Pay attention to your feelings.  You are an expanding being, and as you grow and expand, focus and include the things that feel best to you - similar to as mentioned above about making it feel better and better.

"It's about raising your vibration, not about the 'things'.  If you raise your vibration, the 'things' will come."

"What if Others Cannot Keep up with my Growth?"

This was a request from a good friend to a quote I put up about Growth:

"That is comforting for the assurance Hemal...however, as we expand and grow...those around us will sometimes feel discomfort, which then transfers to us...maybe you could expand on how to handle this aspect of growth" - Henri Coleman

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE YOU, AND THEM TO BE THEM

There are a few things about it. Firstly we cannot hold our own growth back because on a deeper level we are all expanding, and we do not have to. When we hold our own growth back we are against our own flow and it gets uncomfortable and eventually the discomfort can increase. It's like pressing the accelerator and the brakes at the same time.

There are no coincidences in the relationships that we have, whether it be family, friends, pets etc. We, and they, came into this life to experience the contrast and the dynamics that we experience. However, we are always at vibrational choice of what we keep and allow in our experience.

Some might say, "Oh move on, you are no longer a match" and that can feel quite cold and hurtful. I don't agree with that and I believe that if we would like to and choose to (and it IS a choice), we can be with anything or anyone if we choose solely to focus on the factors that we love and keep our attention off the things we do not like (that is what creates the resistance and discomfort and pushing away). Many though are habitually good at looking at the things that are wrong and that creates discord in the relationships.

Look to appreciate the gift that is your growth. See it also as an opportunity to share it with others. Now if others do not see it that way, do not hold it against them, and allow them to be themselves. Give them space to have their opinions as you allow yourself to do the same.

Their discomfort, with all due respect, is their stuff. You can support them and give them love, but it is for them to deal with. It's like an analogy a good friend of mine uses, "You can't lose weight for someone else".

YOU ARE THEIRS AND EVERYONE'S INSPIRATION THROUGH YOUR FLOW

But through YOUR flow and inspiration you can inspire anothers to theirs. Oftentimes people have lost hope or they do not believe things can be a certain way. BE the inspiration and the light for the sake of being it - i.e. for YOU and because it is your flow. Let them choose to resonate with it. At first it may be scary for them. Again, their stuff. But that is part of their evolution and development, and that is also their choice.

Take your attention away from their challenges, put it on what IS good, whether within yourself, them, or anything else. If it feels good, it is getting you to your alignment. If you are in your alignment, you are in your flow and attracting all sorts of wonderful things. Make your focus your own flow, and choose to include or exclude things to pay attention to based on that, make that your criteria.

"Law of Attraction and You: Ask Questions, Get Answers! August 2009 Edition" Teleseminar

Coming this Saturday, 22nd August 2009, is a teleseminar where you have the opportunity to submit YOUR questions and get answers.

At "Law Of Attraction and You: Ask Questions, Get Answers! August 2009 Edition" you can submit your questions and receive the answers and/or hear the answers to real-life questions.  Whether they be about real-life situations or applying techniques and processes, you will have the opportunity of hearing expertise applied to questions with burning desires.

For more information and to book onto:
Law Of Attraction and You: Ask Questions, Get Answers! August 2009 Edition

"Battling with an Ex"

Thanks Hemal for taking the time to respond to my comment, that makes me feel really good :)

I have been trying soo hard to be positive and think good thoughts, and i know that we create our own reality but all I am wanting is to be happy and my ex and his entire family are not going to let me be. In fact, it seems that if it's obvious that I am happy they seem to go out of their way to make me miserable. I just went thru a 2 yr custody battle and won (without an attorney non the less isnt that awesome!!) That was one day i truly felt the power of positive thinking because I went in there and told 100% the truth even though I could no longer afford an attorney and WON!!

But it seems this win has lit a fire under them and now they are trying 10x harder to make things difficult for me. I'm talking EVERY SINGLE DAY there's either something popping in my inbox from them, prank calls, prank text messages, something coming in the mail, its really getting me down and I've even started to gain weight from it all and you know how that is on us women, that is making me even more depressed lol!!

So, I guess what I am asking is, how do I manage to maintain happy and positive in spite of the constant attacks? I certainly don't think I am bringing this on myself am I? It's making me miserable and I am already slipping into a depression which is what my ex wants me to do. I fell he just won't stop until I am destroyed and I know you cant tell from not really knowing me but I am spiraling fast :( Any words of encouragement will be gratefully appreciated.

Thank you again for taking the time to read this and for your lovely daily posts, they mean so much to me, more than you will ever know!!

Much respect,

Shannon

REPLY:

Hi Shannon,

Firstly, I wrote a post on my blog about a year ago which may resonate with you,
As a Single Parent How do I Handle my Ex?

My sense/hunch is that [by your attention to it] you are getting sucked into a fight so to speak. You are focusing on winning this battle and in doing that your attention is in pushing against them and hence you are attracting more of the same, that is just a sense on my part, but you will know best.

The thing to ask yourself is what are you doing all this for? The answer is probably to do with your child and your life, how would you like things to be?  Focus on the positive essences about that (rather than on a battle - which implies being in a battle and attracting more of the same), the things that are important to you about it, regardless of your ex and his family. Take your attention totally away from them and make it about what YOU want and what feels good to you.

Would you be ok with you getting what you want and them getting what they want? That may not be feasible or possible, I'm just asking the question in terms of would you be at peace with them having what they want? Don't make this about what they get or what they don't get, make it about the things that feel good to you and are important to you, regardless of them.

Because if you are having the emotions of a scrap, then regardless of them, if they go away then you will attract someone else to fill that space to match the vibration you are giving out (to have a battle). Make it about the essences that feel good - such as the beautiful life that you will have with your child, the things that you will do etc etc - i.e. make it about YOU and totally about YOUR reality, and then others can be drawn to it that match it.

I think the reason you get down is to do with with your attention on them rather than the attention on you.  And of course when you think about them there are emotions which are unpleasant and suck you in...and you think more about it...and it gets bigger, and so on.  Then you have manifestations such as the things that they are doing. And it may not be easy and of course things like ego and pride may come into it, but allow yourself to step away from that situation. Realise anything in life is about YOU, not about anyone else. As you have focused on them and the things that they have been doing it may have angered you or saddened you and of course it created more attention from you on them and it wasn't allowing you to let it go out of your life.

The way to do that is to envision a life that you would like to be having when all of this is over and feel it now, thus that things can then orchestrate in line with that.  Put the same emotional emphasis to what you would like than on where you are leaving.  What is dominant in your vibration is what you head towards.

This post was automatically imported into my Notes on Facebook.  If you would like to see it and the comments people have been leaving for it then click here: "Battling with an Ex" Note on Facebook.  If you would like to leave a comment you are very welcome to leave one there or in the comments section below.

If you would like to work one-to-one with me on this sort of an issue or another you can find out more information at Work One-to-One with Hemal

As a Single Parent How do I Handle my Ex?

Hi Hemal,

I enjoy reading your blog, it is well laid out and easy to follow, something which I notice is often lacking on topics of a spiritual nature elsewhere. Often there are too many bells and whistles and the messages are lost amongst it all but yours is clear to read!

I teach people how to manage stress and anxiety, and one day I may consider teaching the LoA depending on how open my clients are.

My problem is, I am absolutely useless at applying the LoA in my own life despite having seen the effects years ago before I even knew there was a name for it. I have recently become a single parent and feel nervous every time I see my ex as he is so unreasonable about contact with the children. I had been going along with his demands for contact and hoping that being generous would lead him to being the same but it isn't, so how do I get tougher without inviting more negativity for myself?

Thanks!
Abigail

Hi Abigail,

Being 'tougher' implies you have something to 'be tough against', which implies on some level you are thinking of something you do not want, and of course if you have something in your vibration of what you don't want you are attracting more of the same. Ask yourself what you DO want instead, how you'd like things to be, practice those thoughts and vibration.

Focus on what you DO appreciate, that you have a wonderful child, that you are getting to spend time with him or her, that although the dynamics have changed recently you are making the most of what you have and are enjoying and appreciating things.

And despite what your ex does or doesn't do, practice your vibration towards what feels good to you rather than as a response to how he behaves, otherwise you may find yourself up and down, practice taking your attention off that and putting it onto your own alignment, in that being what feels good to you (as that is your 'guidance', intuition, whatever you want to call it), or at least feels 'better' to you, as it is all relative

When you get into your own alignment others around you will change, or you will see those aspects in them that match your vibration, OR, when they behave those ways they used to you won't see it or be around because vibrationally you won't be a match and are instead lined up for what you do want. All in all it means the same thing, when you have lined up your vibration and have alignment [to what feels good to you - that is your 'purpose'], you will experience more of that

Hi Hemal

Thanks for replying. I guess it takes a big leap to move away saying 'I don't want...' to 'What I want is...'. So is it better to say 'I want for our boys not to have to make a very long car trip' rather than 'I don't want the kids making a long car trip'?  How else can I specifically spell it out for my ex that I don't want the kids being made to do that?  If I don't spell things out, he will claim he didn't realise my point.

Thanks!
Abi

Hi Abi,

When you say 'I don't want them to make a long car trip' or 'I want them to not have to make a very long car trip', they are both the same thing in that the focus is still on not making a long car trip, i.e. on what you don't want (you can't process a 'negative'; don't think of a blue elephant in a purple tree - you can't 'not' think about it, you have to think about something to not think about it, hence don't put your attention towards what you don't want), put your attention on what you DO want instead, so I'm presuming what the most important things are is that the boys are well, happy and so on, put your attention on that, whatever your (positive) intention is.  Practice your vibration around that.  If they are fine and happy making long trips or doing other things then that is still a match to what you want, let go of the form, let go of judging the form of how your positive intention is achieved.

So ask yourself why you want what you want to get your positive intention, i.e. them not having long trips for example is so you want them to be well etc, put your attention on that than on 'how' it happens.  You are presuming what they will go through with long car journeys, and that may be well-founded based on what has happened in the past, but soften your perspective on it, soften your beliefs and thoughts around it, focus on what you do want than on what has happened in the past, create the present and future based on what you would like it to be than your experiences in the past.  When you are looking to avoid the past happening that is where your vibration is, instead start practicing how you would like things to be.  What you create in your future is just a matter of which vibration you practice and all possibilities are open to you

WHAT ARE YOU PRACTICING

Bit by bit also take your attention away from the frustration of the interactions (with the ex) and put it on what you are wanting, which is how you want the boys to be. Because if your attention is on frustration, you will attract a match to that either in that context or elsewhere, put your attention on the wellbeing of the boys, and the key thing is how it makes YOU feel, put yourself in that place, and let the form and the happenings take care of themselves.  Right now you probably have a list of the things you dislike about your ex and how you don't want things to be, but do you have a list of how you want things to be?  Which vibration are you practicing stronger?  Which is your dominant vibration?

And what I am talking about is more about your own focus and vibration than what you say to the ex, if you are vibrationally in the right place then the right things will take care of themselves, if needed you will say the right things or you may even find that you don't need to say anything as they are taken care of

If you have any questions or comments on the above, feel free to add them in the comments below on this blog post. 

And if you haven't already, do subscribe to this blog via the form in the top left, you will receive a confirmation email in which you click the link to confirm your (free) subscription and you should automatically receive an email within 24hrs of new posts

When you let go of the 'need' for it, you will get what you want

“Hi Hemal,

Nina put me onto your blog and posts, and of course you know they are simply wonderful. Thank you for contributing so much of your helpful knowledge to the rest of us out here living this crazy physical experience.

I was wondering if you knew, or have blogged about anything having to do with baldness. With the knowledge I have now, I can see that I practiced the "I'm going bald and that's it, my dad is bald, etc." for years, and now I am trying to tell a new story and appreciate a full, healthy head of hair. I want all my other balding friends to look at me and say "How the HELL did you do that?  No rogaine?  No transplants?  How the hell is it possible?" Any help you could offer would be very appreciated.

Funny enough, I've searched the web for everything and found a way through the LOA to assist in a positive solution...but baldness is the ONE subject that seems very tricky - no one has a clear cut answer. Or one that I've been able to find, anyway...

All my best”

CREATING PHYSICAL BODILY CHANGE IS THE SAME AS ANY OTHER CHANGE

The process for people to create change in their physical bodies is the same as the process for the changes they try to create elsewhere in their lives; whether it be attracting more money or attracting a lover, etc.  They often have a situation which is of what they don’t want and this creates the contrast - that feeling of wanting something that isn’t here right now.  And the desire of what they want emanates from that.

So it’s softening the perspective on where you are at that moment, this softens the resistance and contrast and lets in the good stuff (which feels good - that is your indication) - you can call it the Universe, Universal energy, God force, spirit, non-physical, whatever you want to call it.  You are allowing it in.  We’ll talk more about it regarding this case later.

 

When someone is saying “Where is my lover?  Where is my lover?  Why has he/she not entered my life yet?”  Implicit in that asking is doubt and focus on the lack of that person not being in their life right now, and that attracts more of the same.

It’s the same as someone saying “Where’s my money?  Where’s my money?”  Again, it is focusing on the absence of something and it attracts more of the same.  Some people would call it ‘root looking’ or ‘pulse checking’.  If when you plant something you are regularly digging it up to check for root growth it is not going to grow so well

The issue you mention here has the same solution as with other issues, and the irony is this: 

As you soften your perspective on the present situation, it won’t be an issue to you any more, but the irony in that is you will get what you want anyway.

It’s like a couple wanting to get ‘pregnant’, they try and try and try for a baby and after a while they decide to adopt.  And when they adopt, all their resistance to ‘not having a child’ goes....and they get pregnant.  When someone ‘gives up’ or ‘surrenders’ they let go of the resistance and thus allow what they want.  The key thing is not necessarily the surrendering but the letting go of the resistance.

ATTRACTION IS VIBRATIONAL

Before we have some statements to soften this and talk about your body’s ability to grow, something else as a consideration when people are working on something on a ‘cosmetic’ level....

People are conscious of how they look and how they come across to others especially to the opposite sex.

The thing to realise is that attraction is vibrational.  Before anyone sees you (or hears you or touches you) they have already picked you up (pardon the pun) vibrationally, their attraction and recognition of you is vibrational - the fact they are even in your vicinity is because you are a vibrational match.

The question to ask yourself, is what tone (vibrationally) are you setting, is it one of:
- I don’t like the way I look, I am uncomfortable about one thing or another
- There is something not right about me
- I won’t be liked

Or:
- I know that despite how I might look or sound, I like (even love) me
- I don’t need to be or do anything, there are people that will love me for me, and it is ok if I’m not ok for others (a vibrational match), it wouldn’t have worked anyway – I like who I am and if they’re looking for someone that doesn’t then I’m not a vibrational match
- I like/love me

The whole Universe works on a vibrational level far before anything else, before social conditioning, man-made laws or anything else - which are all composed of 'vibration' and pure potential anyway, they are all made up of the building blocks of the Universe.  With you being in alignment and feeling good about who you are, you are attracting people that match that, or attracting that aspect from those already around you.  You can only attract that which is a vibrational match to you.

Socially you may have thought there were certain opinions about baldness in terms of attraction – as may be the case with any situation, but do realise that through your softening of your own perspective on it, those elements of society will not interest you and those that do will be the ones that match your warm fuzzy feeling about yourself. The aspects of the Universe (and that includes society!) you draw to yourself will be the ones that are a match to your frequency, your vibration.  If you have a certain opinion or self image about yourself you will attract those that are a match to it.

YOUR BODY’S ABILITY TO GROW

Now you may have read the article on Getting Into Alignment with your Body (particularly the section in it titled "Your Body Literally Responds to your Vibration") which touched on the body’s ability to regenerate and grow.  Your body has the ability to grow hair as well as make other physiological changes.  Everything is malleable by your offering a pure thought and holding your vibration to it, thus attracting more of the same and the momentum building and manifesting on a physical level.

Your body responds when you come from a place of pure (i.e. not contradicted or 'mixed') thought, i.e. not from a place of lack or trying to 'fix' something.  Law of Attraction will give you more of the same, whatever you focus on it will give you more of the same.

Soothing yourself about a situation will let you soften the thoughts that don’t support what you want, the thoughts that are on what you don’t want, so you could say:

- I know I have this and whilst I haven’t enjoyed it, I’m going to take my attention off it and onto how I feel about myself
- I’m not going to let something change how I feel about myself.  My feelings about me are unconditional regardless of the outside.  And what do you know, maybe the outside will change too
- I also know that as I change how I feel about myself, other physiological changes may take place anyway
- I know the body has the ability to create the changes I want, I am here and reading this and have attracted a match in my search for a solution
- I will take my attention off the situation and ‘stop counting’ and instead will start to appreciate the good things in my life, including my body and what I appreciate about it

APPRECIATING YOURSELF

What would be good to do at that point would be to write a list of the things you DO appreciate about yourself and your body and to practice this.  You could make it a list of 10 things, 20, 50, whatever number you like, and regularly (such as every day) write a new one.  Not necessarily because you are trying to ‘create’ something, but because you enjoy how it feels and how you feel.  Manifestation is about how you feel during the process, the manifestations themselves are natural consequences of you feeling good.  The feelings are indicators of you letting in 'all the good stuff'.

Your vibration will raise and if you feel inspired to remember or think or imagine (whichever feels best) how more and more hair (or whatever the 'condition' was) would look on you you can do so, do what feels good and enjoyable, and do it because of that.  The subject will feel different as a result of your raised vibration, you will not be trying to 'solve a problem' but envisioning and creating something because (at that raised vibration) it feels good.  If it feels heavy then return to softening and resume from there.

Do you need to change your physical suroundings to attract what you want?

I just started reading The Secret, and I understand the Law of Attraction clearly. What I don't understand are the physical aligning of things. I don't know what I need to do with my room to attract the things I want. For example, I want a husband. Do I need to align things in that particular room for that to happen?  What should I do to attract love and all these wonderful positive things humans long for?

The book mentions that you should change your surroundings as if you have your soulmate with you. For example: there's a story about a lady who stopped taking up the whole space of the garage, and left some space for her potential soul-mate's car to park in her garage.

So my question is: Is changing my surroundings a strictly important action to take in order to attract my soul mate?

To answer your question - no!  You do not have to change your surroundings or anything necessarily, it is about your thoughts and feelings - hence your vibration about it.  And as a result you may/will WANT to make certain changes - such as your surroundings or by taking actions or anything else - because they feel good and inspired, not necessarily because you 'have to'.  So the 'actions' are a consequence of how you feel rather than them being forced necessarily to 'make it happen'.  They are a natural progression of your feelings and your building vibration rather than something 'forced'

Changing surroundings or taking actions may lead to a change in one's vibration, the key IS the change in vibration, so - and oftentimes the easiest and hence most efficient way - what you can do is the practicing of the thoughts and feelings of what you want and that will bring in the new vibration and the consequent physical reality

Softening your Vibration about a Decision Made

Here is an interaction from the comments of the "Everything you Experience is for you to Have What you Want" post.  It was a question Pat asked and I thought others would value it so I've pasted it here so it can be more visibly seen.  I've edited it a bit and added some additional comments

"Around January 2007 my husband and I made a decision that affected me deeply (moving to another country), and which I now regret. I cannot reverse it now, and I feel guilty, remorseful, and depressed. I keep wishing I could turn the clock back, which of course won't happen. I'd love to believe everything will be ok, and attract the right things, but I just cannot. Any words of wisdom?"

Hi Pat,

You are in a situation that does not feel nice and you are looking to see what possibilities there are.

Start with the situation at hand, look at the things that feel uncomfortable and look to 'soften' them. So you might say you are not enjoying the country and find aspects that aren't so bad about them, rephrase or reframe things such that they feel 'softer' rather than the harsh way they've been perceived as previously.  It is never about a situation but your perspective on it, and that determines your vibration about it and thus your physical experience. 

As you soften how you see something the resistance will decrease and you will attract better feelings thoughts and feel better too.  Feeling better is a sign of alignment towards who you really are, from a spiritual point of view, it's alignment towards everything that you want

So as you soften your vibration you will attract other thoughts in line with that and so on. As you do that you will find soon enough your reality will change, and at the very least how you see your reality will have changed, in gentle subtle shifts. But it starts with gently softening how things have been

You can say to yourself:
- I don't enjoy how things have been, but things have happened and I can try to make the most of them
- I feel guilt and am depressed about it, and I can start to gently look for things I might appreciate because I know that will improve how I feel and is on the way to things changing, whether it be that my physical reality changes or that how I see my physical reality will change
- I can look for things that have come about through all of this which may be of benefit to me, even if it's being clear on what I don't want.  I know there are things I have not enjoyed, in fact detested, but I am also clearer on what I DO want
- What I DO want is....

And work with building those thoughts, practice them, imagine them, spend time on them. Just imagine if things could be a certain way, how would they be?  Don't think you are trying to create something, just focus on these better feeling thoughts and practice them.  Doing this will raise your vibration and in time you will see things around you shift, they can't not. If your vibration changes, what is around you will (almost seemingly magically) shift