MANIFESTING & LAW OF ATTRACTION

As Your Attention Grows on What You DO Want, It Lessens on What You Don't

"One of the problems I have had in trying to manifest my goals is ...focus. It just dawned on me today as I was giving a cello lesson! The mistakes I make when I play are often a matter of becoming distracted...losing my focus. Here I am teaching a student to really focus on her playing and I suddenly realized that that was what was getting in my way with manifesting my life!!
That is the big downfall for me....how can I improve my inner focus? It seems very difficult to maintain focus day after day......"
Alison

Hi Alison,

There are two ways to increase focus:
1 - Lessen distractions (sometimes can be known as 'resistance', i.e. that other than what you want)
2 - Focus more on that which you want (practice/build the vibration of what you want)

There are various ways to increase focus, one way is to focus on something, for example you could focus on a goal or something that feels nice (or even an object) and practice keeping your attention on it for longer and longer periods. So initially you could start with 30 seconds and build it to a minute and 5mins and 10mins and so on

The idea is to focus on it as purely as you can, without focusing on other things. If you happen to find other things come up then as soon as you remember you get your focus back on to that which you want to focus on and you continue the sustained concentrated focus

That's one way for now, there are a lot of other ways to increase focus as covered in other articles here or on the teleclasses as well as to decrease distracting and resistant thoughts.

AS YOUR ATTENTION GROWS ON WHAT YOU DO WANT IT LESSENS ON WHAT YOU DON'T

The other thing also is that as you increase your focus on that which you want, your attention will go away from the things that you don't want.  As your attention grows on that which you want, by virtue of Law of Attraction it will attract more thoughts of the same as it will grow and grow and grow.  When you focus on thoughts such as "I don't want to think (or do) this"  you are still giving more of your attention to that which you don't want, instead put your attention on what you DO WANT

Basically, as you practice focusing on more of what you do want and can create games around it and have fun, your focus will naturally increase.  Have you noticed how when you have fun focus tends to be any easier thing?  ;)

So if you are trying to attract something such as a relationship or money for example, you could create a game where you have to think of as many positive fun things about it, you could set a target of thinking of 10 things and write them down, say three times a day.  As you are writing positive things about something your vibration around it is getting purer and purer (and it should feel fun too, not 'forced', keep it light and fun), you are getting into alignment with it, also your focus on it is increasing more and more.

Anyone else want to share their thoughts and/or questions?  Feel free to add them in the comments below

Hemal working with *YOU*

For quite some time now as I have interacted with people, whether online or on phone or in person, I have been hearing the results people have been getting from our interactions.  This has been happening time and time and time again.

In my background in the mid 90s when I did my NLP I coached and trained and developed many of my own Manifesting & Law of Attraction processes over the years and had results with others as well in my own life.  What has been happening more recently is that people have also been experiencing answers from me intuitively and it was very much resonated with what they were looking for and given them their answers.

I wanted to open this option up for others, for you to work one-on-one with me on your goals and challenges.  I have a monthly package with limited slots remaining for us to interact via email and phone interaction on YOUR goals, contact me for more information.

Contact me at hemal@manifestingandlawofattraction.com about what you would like to work with and for more information.
I am letting people get in touch and ‘book their place’ as there will only be a number of people I can work with one-to-one on a monthly basis

I love your work, Hemal.  Between you and Abraham Hicks....I feel so supported in this wild journey!  Blessings from Colorado!

Tamara Kerner, Colorado, USA

I know I always say "Thank you, Hemal" but I mean it.
I am more aware of my alignment, my own vibration, focus on feeling good, Thank you.
Your teaching is always interesting and I feel good reading your articles and listening to your Teleclasses, Thank you.
Thank you so much and I am very happy that I can connect with you.

Rebecca Seal, London, UK

I participated in one of your Teleseminars in August and it was amazing how the experience not only stayed with me throughout the day, but as positive things occurred, they kept growing and compounding.  Everything seemed to flow so easily - the more people I encountered, the more I was able to give to them and receive back their energy.  By that evening, I was feeling so "buoyant" that when I was suddenly asked to speak in front of an audience without warning - instead of panicking, words just flowed easily.  And - at the end of the day: I won 3 raffle prizes that night!

So Hemal, don't feel pressured - I won't be expecting that kind of result from every Teleseminar you do. :-) But I know I will come away with something very special.
To folks considering working with Hemal, I highly recommend you take advantage of this opportunity to get to know Hemal and hear what he has to share with all of us.

You can really get to know him; he is down-to-earth, authentic, and really has something of value to offer.

Dora Crow, California, USA

Your answer is exactly what I wanted to hear and I immediately feel more aligned with my goal and I'm certain I am going to receive it within the next few weeks.
Thank you so much!  In all honesty this is fantastic!
The depth of information you give is very good.
Thanks very much Hemal

Sanjay Patel, West Midlands, UK

I've been aware of Law of Attraction for some time now, with most things I can deliberately put myself in the best feeling place, but other times I have needed some clearer direction.

Hemal's website and useful advice have been incredibly helpful. His experiences of using the Law of Attraction and his wisdom and compassion makes him an extremely understanding and non-judgmental person. It is often useful to have an objective point of view, and someone who might be able to say that something is not quite in alignment. Although, I fully understand the Law of Attraction, his post on health which was a response to a question of mine, goes into great detail about finding that great feeling and getting into alignment with your body.  I knew I had to find the feeling that I would feel when I reached the finished and achieved my goal, but all the other extra tips and advice made that bit of difference.

It is great to have someone who asks: How did you attract this into your life?  What beliefs, thoughts, restrictions, are in place? It is also wonderful to have someone who can put out a specific plan for helping you achieve your goals, whatever they are.

Tanya Moore, Newcastle, UK

After just one coaching session with Hemal Radia and Kim in the Teleseminar they held, I began to observe the limiting beliefs which were keeping me separate from that which I desired. From this new awareness and observation I am able to powerfully shift my perspective in a way that has enabled me to actually become and therefore attract what I truly desired.
I really enjoyed listening to the teleseminar and the two teleclasses that have taken place since then. I felt that there were certain things in what was discussed that related to me.
There are two more teleclasses that are yet to come and for which I am eager to listen to.
 I would recommend everyone interested in this subject to join Hemal’s Teleclasses, I am sure it would be of great help to them.

Bhavini Raicha, UK
(she sent this at the time when the teleclasses were running live)

”…..since we met 10 years ago you have been an inspiration and an influence to me on how to on how to walk the talk. On a continuing basis have I seen how it is possible to take action not just sitting and feeling nice vibrations. I look forward to the next step on our journey….”
All love, Elizabeth, Denmark

I have had coaching on many levels with Hemal. Of late I have experienced his coaching with spirit. It’s incredible. Hemal’s insight into Law of Attraction is wonderful as it is, but coaching with spirit brings it to a whole nother level. I  asked him about my relationship with another person and the extra insight was awesome. It helped me to see things that I hadn’t seen.

Kate Strong, New Zealand

Do you need to change your physical suroundings to attract what you want?

I just started reading The Secret, and I understand the Law of Attraction clearly. What I don't understand are the physical aligning of things. I don't know what I need to do with my room to attract the things I want. For example, I want a husband. Do I need to align things in that particular room for that to happen?  What should I do to attract love and all these wonderful positive things humans long for?

The book mentions that you should change your surroundings as if you have your soulmate with you. For example: there's a story about a lady who stopped taking up the whole space of the garage, and left some space for her potential soul-mate's car to park in her garage.

So my question is: Is changing my surroundings a strictly important action to take in order to attract my soul mate?

To answer your question - no!  You do not have to change your surroundings or anything necessarily, it is about your thoughts and feelings - hence your vibration about it.  And as a result you may/will WANT to make certain changes - such as your surroundings or by taking actions or anything else - because they feel good and inspired, not necessarily because you 'have to'.  So the 'actions' are a consequence of how you feel rather than them being forced necessarily to 'make it happen'.  They are a natural progression of your feelings and your building vibration rather than something 'forced'

Changing surroundings or taking actions may lead to a change in one's vibration, the key IS the change in vibration, so - and oftentimes the easiest and hence most efficient way - what you can do is the practicing of the thoughts and feelings of what you want and that will bring in the new vibration and the consequent physical reality

Softening your Vibration about a Decision Made

Here is an interaction from the comments of the "Everything you Experience is for you to Have What you Want" post.  It was a question Pat asked and I thought others would value it so I've pasted it here so it can be more visibly seen.  I've edited it a bit and added some additional comments

"Around January 2007 my husband and I made a decision that affected me deeply (moving to another country), and which I now regret. I cannot reverse it now, and I feel guilty, remorseful, and depressed. I keep wishing I could turn the clock back, which of course won't happen. I'd love to believe everything will be ok, and attract the right things, but I just cannot. Any words of wisdom?"

Hi Pat,

You are in a situation that does not feel nice and you are looking to see what possibilities there are.

Start with the situation at hand, look at the things that feel uncomfortable and look to 'soften' them. So you might say you are not enjoying the country and find aspects that aren't so bad about them, rephrase or reframe things such that they feel 'softer' rather than the harsh way they've been perceived as previously.  It is never about a situation but your perspective on it, and that determines your vibration about it and thus your physical experience. 

As you soften how you see something the resistance will decrease and you will attract better feelings thoughts and feel better too.  Feeling better is a sign of alignment towards who you really are, from a spiritual point of view, it's alignment towards everything that you want

So as you soften your vibration you will attract other thoughts in line with that and so on. As you do that you will find soon enough your reality will change, and at the very least how you see your reality will have changed, in gentle subtle shifts. But it starts with gently softening how things have been

You can say to yourself:
- I don't enjoy how things have been, but things have happened and I can try to make the most of them
- I feel guilt and am depressed about it, and I can start to gently look for things I might appreciate because I know that will improve how I feel and is on the way to things changing, whether it be that my physical reality changes or that how I see my physical reality will change
- I can look for things that have come about through all of this which may be of benefit to me, even if it's being clear on what I don't want.  I know there are things I have not enjoyed, in fact detested, but I am also clearer on what I DO want
- What I DO want is....

And work with building those thoughts, practice them, imagine them, spend time on them. Just imagine if things could be a certain way, how would they be?  Don't think you are trying to create something, just focus on these better feeling thoughts and practice them.  Doing this will raise your vibration and in time you will see things around you shift, they can't not. If your vibration changes, what is around you will (almost seemingly magically) shift

Everything You Experience is for You to Have What you Want

EVERYTHING SERVES YOU
Everything on this physical platform is for you to have what you want.  You may think the challenges and 'hardship' you experience...'Oh why does it happen to me?'...you may think you were the unfortunate one for whom it just doesn't work out, the one that has to 'make do'...  

Realise that everything you get and everything you don't get serves as a vibrational platform.  It is like you are standing on the shoulders of a giant from your new perspective; from the thing that worked out, or the thing that didn't work out.

YOU CAN NEVER LOOK BACK
You always see things from new eyes.  Whether it be going back to a country, a relationship, a company that you worked for, or anything else.  Each time you EXPERIENCE something your vibration grows - whatever the outcome. You can never go back.  You will always see it with new eyes.  You are always 'more'.  And that's what you came here to be.  And your physical is (/will be) a match to your vibration

USE YOUR EMOTIONS AS GUIDANCE
Know that each time you don't get what you want there is a building desire for what you DO want, and the discomfort that you feel is an indication that you are not lined up to it in your thoughts and feelings.  The stronger the disparity the stronger the 'negative' emotion.  But if you are to use your emotions as guidance, as guidance that you are getting closer to what you want or further away from it, based on how you feel, you can then work on getting yourself to a better feeling place and thus more in alignment with what you want and thus the manifestation of it.

SOFTENING DISCOMFORT
So as an example something has gone wrong, or something has happened how you don't want it to be - and you feel terrible.  When feeling something as strong as that usually the first step is to soften it.

So you might say:
-This is so bad, why oh why is this happening (pacing the experience)
-I realise that it's not quite how I wanted things to be, and this realisation is my first step (a bit better)
-I realise inherent in everything - good or bad - is the desire and the energy to HAVE WHAT I WANT (feeling better)
-It's not the end, I know there is much more to come, and as soon as I get off feeling bad about this I can line up to what I do want
-What is it that I DO want?  How would it feel when I have it?  
-What are the details of what I want?  (get into more and more specifics, do scripting - script out how things would be, role play, practice using your imagination)
And you are on your way to a better feeling place...

WHAT IS YOUR ATTENTION ON?
Oftentimes when certain things happen, whilst we have our attention on what we don't like rather than what we do, we are attracting more of what our attention is focused on.  So even though things around you (on the physical) may be appearing a certain way, how do you want things to be?  Can you imagine it?  Can you FEEL IT? How deep can you get into that reality?  

And of course as you do that and your vibration adapts to it, it gets easier to think the next better feeling thought and so on.

It can sometimes take the physical a little while to adapt to your vibration (as quickly as you 'allow' it through your good feelings), so keep your vibration on how you want things to be, REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS HAPPENING AROUND YOU. Do you want to create more of 'what already is' (by your focus on it) or what you want?  What vibrational signal are you offering RIGHT NOW IN YOUR LIFE?

Feel free to share and add your thoughts, experiences, tips in the comments below

Have a great day

MILKING your Dreams

So, what dreams do YOU have?
Remember to MILK the thoughts, remember it's not just about the dreams you have but about how you use them to flow energy, and that is about how you think about them, HOW GOOD YOU LET THEM FEEL

So for example if you want to visit/live on an island, you can describe it in detail, there is power in the specificity...

What is the island like?
What are the people like on it?
The colourful and nutritious (and tasty) vegetation?
What is it like to wake in the morning and hear the ocean waves?
Describe the beautiful sea that you get to experience every morning? How does your body feel when you feel it each morning?
And the wonderful morning sun? And how is it hearing the native birds with their colours and vibrant plumages?
What are the sunsets like? What colours do they paint in the sky?

What fresh and natural foods do you get to experience? How does your body feel in experiencing these?
What is your rich sensory experience in being here?
What is the lifestyle like?
Are you here with your family and loved ones? How is it for them?
What do you do on this island when you 'play'?

Can you see how just in reading these questions your thoughts and feelings have already shifted...?
You are already vibrationally closer to all that you want, just by considering the above, and you have access to thoughts and ideas you didn't a few minutes ago as a result of your raised vibration

There is power in specificity.  Where it is not helpful is when you aren't totally clear on your goal and initially  you can 'soften' it by being general or vague about it but as you get clearer and clearer about what you want and as you gather data and information in your day-to-day experience and you hone it and refine it and get clearer and clearer on what you are wanting, there is great power in the specificity, there is a greater FOCUS. 

That is what creation is about, when you focus you are channeling universal energy through you to manifest on a physical level, in your focusing and alignment - by thinking and feeling FROM your goal - you are lining up with the bigger part of 'You' - The Universe, God, Source, Universal energy, whatever you want to call it - and letting it in.  And as you do that you feel better and better and that is your indication that you are lined up with the bigger 'You' and things are happening.  It doesn't matter what actions you take because in your alignment you will be inspired to take the right actions, say the right things, be in the right places etc.  Actions are very much a physical 'human' concept and alignment (how you feel is an indication of your alignment) is when you are in harmony with the larger (non-visible, non physical spiritual essence) part of the physical planet and Universe.

Timing - Allowing the Universe to Bring you What you Want

This was a reply to a post that Xio wrote about Timing and the Universe bringing you what you want on the Universal Law Of Attraction group on Facebook,

Absolutely, there's a quote I heard which is that 'God's Delays Are Not God's Denials'  lol.

Where you are is perfect, you do not need to be anywhere else, everything is in alignment for you to be where you are at Now, what is most important in all of this is to maintain your alignment, that is to be in line with your good feelings/love/joy/appreciation etc because whilst it may 'appear' that things aren't how you wanted them at the present moment, it is important that you don't bring that into your vibration.

Keep your alignment on the things that you want and that feel good so that you are resonating from them and attracting them.  Allow the physical to respond, don't prejudge it too early.  It's never about what 'is' (unless you are wanting to vibrate it), it's about what you are choosing to vibrate and attract more of.  Let your feelings be your indicator of your vibration and let the Universe do the rest.

                              

 

Which Thought Feels Better? A simple way to getting what you want

Decide on an area of your life you'd like to work with or something you would like

1 - Write five thoughts about it

2 - Determine if amongst those 5 thoughts there are thoughts that feel better than your current thoughts on the subject (use your feelings as your guide), if not then write 5 more thoughts, repeat until you have a thought or thoughts that feel better

3 - Replace your current thoughts with the thought or thoughts that feel better/best, make that your way of thinking (practice it, mentally rehearse it if need be), and don't contradict it with what you used to think

4 - Repeat from step 1, until...

5 - You have what you want

By doing this process you will always be thinking and feeling better and better thoughts:
-The better it feels the more aligned you are to what you want
-The more aligned you are to what you want the closer it is...
...and it manifests on the physical level

 

-You feelings are telling you how close you are to what you want, they are your guidance from the Universe, God, Source, Higher Self, whatever you want to call it

-When you access a better feeling thought it opens up other thoughts that weren't previously accessible to you, including ideas, thoughts and inspired actions.  From where you are initially you do not have access to where you will end up as vibrationally it is too far, but by repeating from your new perspective each time you have access to new thoughts and feelings that get you vibrationally where you want to be.  Your physical experience is a manifestation of your vibration

-From the new feeling place you are immeasurably closer to what you want than you would have been by 'action steps'

-The Universe is not an action one but a vibrational one, by doing the above you are getting closer to what you want far more quickly than you would by action alone, you will have ideas that get you closer, you'll be in the right time/right place, experience synchronicities, etc, there will be an almost seemingly magical unfolding

                              

 

Perfection is ok....

This was an interaction I was having with Xio (who you will have seen comment on posts on here) on a thread on the Universal Law of Attraction group on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=5693&post=30159&uid=9150258418#post30159) about how she used to go for things that were 'perfect', eg if she was arranging a party then having perfect food, perfect people, the perfect place etc, whereas nowadays she is more focused on 'softer' qualities such as everybody being happy and enjoying the party.

I thought I would add some thoughts regarding 'perfection'...

Yes, what I've found is that having 'perfect' goals and striving for things of a high degree is absolutely fine and a wonderful way to KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT, and then being in the moment and enjoying the PROCESS and focusing on the CREATION and on the JOY in the moment

It is absolutely fine to be bold to go for what you really want (there is energy and flow in boldness, than in being timid), whatever it is, even if it is, in your current perception, 'perfect', you are using that label to clarify and define what you want, and then it's about why you want it, the emotions, the essences (the qualities of what you want, the way it makes you feel etc) and letting go of any labels about 'perfection' (because the Universe doesn't have such labels, you Ask and it Gives) and focus on the EXPERIENCE of what you want

What you want are your goals to matter so much and more and more so that more and more energy flows, the more desire the more energy flow, but you don't want them to matter SO MUCH that you are 'attached' to them (and not 'allowing' them) that you pinch the energy off

'Perfection' as with many other concepts is a label, and you can determine whether it is useful to you or not by how it feels, and using your feelings as your guidance you can use it in the best way for you, to inspire and create great things (than to use it to beat oneself up lol), as with anything it has great potential to think in great ways and flow wonderful things to you

Follow up from Xio:
When I ask I want to do things or have things in perfect way, that will depend on how I feel or how my vibration is about it? ...Like for example...Having a perfect profession, perfect soulmate, perfect house, perfect family…I really want to have them in perfect way and of course feel happy about having them… When I ask for something I always say. “ I want to have this but I want You help me to pick what is the best for me”
Am I doing it right?

Yes, that's right it's about how you feel and your vibration about it

Oftentimes when people set goals they say they want them a 'certain way', that 'it has to be like this otherwise I won't be happy', and that could include 'perfect' or not, but when people from their 'humanity' are saying that 'it has to be like this', they are not allowing their divinity - or the Universe (or God or Source or Higher Self or whatever) - to create for them as it may have so many many many other possibilities that are available, but people can limit by saying 'I want it THIS way'. Let go, and trust, and line up and feel what you want so you don't notice that currently, in your physical perception, it's not here on the physical although on many other levels it is already here and has always been here

                              

 

Dealing with Mixed Emotions and Raising Vibration (in a Relationship)

Xio talks so much about you and she said you have been a wonderful resource. At this point in my life I feel that I still haven't found what I am looking for in life, I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who is MY LIFE, but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty we have been together for almost 16 years.  I wish him the best, sometimes I feel that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don't. I don't know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much anger. I thought maybe through the law of attraction I can find answers to my issues. Thank you Hemal

REPLY:

I will list out what I think are the most important parts in this:

-At this point in my life I feel that I still haven't found what I am looking for in life
-I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who is MY LIFE
-but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty
-I feel that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don't. I don't know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much anger

WORKING WITH EMOTIONS

Let's start with them, though not in that order

I feel that I might love him but them when I am too close to him I don't. I don't know what it is , I wish I could tell you. It might be too much anger

In reading that, of course anger suggests that either something has happened and/or you have anger about something else and blame him.  Whatever it is is not crucial, because whatever you feel and for whatever reason you are feeling it, and you work with your experience.  When someone feels something they will also tend to see more of it (have you bought an item of clothing and started seeing all the other people that are wearing something similar? lol)- we tend to see and attract more of the same of what we are feeling.

So ask yourself, how do you feel about the relationship?  Is it worth making peace with the 'anger' so you can focus on more of what you want?  You see, it's not about the relationship, it's about doing this for yourself.  If someone leaves one relationship and does not change how they think/feel they will attract similar situations in another (or other friendships/relationships) because whilst they have moved physically, they have not changed their vibration.  So they feel 'Why does this keep happening to me?' or 'What's God/The Universe got against me for keeping on punishing me?'  It's totally to do with vibration.

I've known people who have moved countries to 'get away from things' and because they are thinking the same things they attract similar scenarios.  And of course there are many times where this doesn't happen either, because the new environment stimulates them differently and they don't have the same thoughts/feelings as before, but as in all cases, the common denominator are the thoughts and feelings of the individual.

So work on the anger for yourself, and this relationship - or whatever else - will be an expression of You.

Ask yourself does the anger hold any purpose?  When we get the learnings from a situation we tend to feel better and better about letting it go (the emotions) and moving on.  Actions are not necessary, changing our feelings is the most important (and actions can come as a consequence of that), but for many people having conscious learnings helps them to 'let go'. 

So someone might say 'If I could say "No" rather than saying 'Yes' all the time I'd feel I don't need to have the emotion (whatever it might be) to protect me'.  So if they have the learnings (in this case to be able to say 'No') they can let go of the emotion, which is the most important thing.

So ask yourself, 'What do I need to think, feel, do so I can let go of the emotions?  I know that when I make peace with the present, when I soothe the emotions, when I feel 'less bad', when I feel 'better', I know that then not only am I feeling better but I know that I am more in harmony with the rest of the universe in supporting me with what I want'

When the universe is in harmony with you things will orchestrate themselves, things even beyond man-made laws and what you may think it's possible, things will happen which you didn't expect, things will surprise you, maybe people will say things to your certain way, or some things will happen, these will be things even beyond what you can consciously imagine and it's not your job to figure out the 'how'

We will talk more about 'feeling better' in....

RAISING VIBRATION

-but with my husband on the other hand I feel very empty
-At this point in my life I feel that I still haven't found what I am looking for in life

 

These both seem quite similar in that they suggest an absence of certain feelings; good feelings, things that excite you, things that make you feel alive, things to move towards, etc.

There are many ways to feel better about things, firstly it starts with making peace with the present, making peace with the Now, which we touched on in the previous section.  Sometimes it is not easy to think about 'feeling good' until we have dealt with feeling 'less bad' and making peace with the Now, and then comes a point when we have to focus on 'feeling good' so as to get our attention off the 'feeling less bad' we were moving on from.  So for now, let's assume that that has been done,

So, ways to feel better can include:

-Think back to times when you DID feel good about your husband, when you were excited, when there were many things happening and you were looking forward to what was ahead.  Not necessarily because you want to make this relationship work (or not) but because you are looking for things that felt good, that is the only criteria in this

-Think about the aspects that you don't think your husband is reflecting at the moment - let that be an indication of the aspects that you're not focusing on WITHIN YOURSELF.  Start thinking and practising the thought of having those aspects in your life

So for example if you say you don't feel loved, practice on how it feels to be loved.  When you change how you feel about yourself you change how others feel about you too and either you will draw those aspects from those people or you will attract people will reflect those aspects to you, at the end of the day everything you attract is a reflection

-Think about what the future might hold, or I don't know what your choices will be in terms of the relationship with your husband in the future, but think about a relationship you are in in the future and how it feels, how is it to have the things that you want.  Again, this is just another way of practising thoughts that feel nice.  You are just using the frame of having something in the future as a way of allowing yourself to feel things a certain way. You could imagine it now, you can imagine it in a relationship in the past - it doesn't matter - the most important thing is that your attention is on things that you WANT

-You can make a list of the things missing right now, whether in your life or in a certain relationship, and use that to identify what you DO want, and then practice feeling as if you would have them, feeling FROM having them

When you have lined up vibrationally you will not pay attention to the things that you used to, you will start to see things in a different way, you will see others differently in time, you will start to see the qualities of what you want in your experience, and that in itself will attract more of the same (Law of Attraction).  You will not be attracted to the same types of interactions as before, because the interactions that you are attracted to will be more in harmony with what you want from your new vibrational persepctive.

HOW YOU KNOW...

A wonderful example of this is:
-I am very blessed I have a wonderful daughter who is MY LIFE

Notice how that statement feels compared to everything else (the previous statements for example), there's a certain lightness, a certain light, easy - perhaps fun - feeling, a very different vibration.  You know that there is no 'empty' feeling here.  This feeling is very very easy and very natural to you, you are working on getting your vibration about other things to this sort of place.

Another way of describing this vibration is 'pure' i.e. it is not contradicted, what I mean by that is it is not mixed, there is no doubt, it is very clean and pure and you know EXACTLY how it feels - by how it feels - and there is no doubt, and when you talk about it to others they feel it too.